Lumberjack Kurt
by Phantom of a Rose
Summary: Blaine has given up on finding more videos of Kurt, so instead he's Facebook stalking him. He is surprised to see a rather...out of character photo of Kurt on Brittney's profile. slight Klaine


Blaine was now creeping through Kurt's Facebook.

Honestly, he had given up on finding anymore videos. He had told Kurt all the ones he had seen, and Kurt said that was probably all.

Blaine asked if he was lying; Kurt assured him he wasn't.

Blaine believed him.

It was all good and fun finding the videos, and Kurt had (mostly) forgiven him for posting the Mattress Land commercial.

Now, however, he was bored. So bored. After a two weeks of finding these hilarious videos, he wasn't sure what to do.

So he found himself on Facebook, avoiding his homework. And of course he and Kurt had just become Facebook friends, so he decided that was a good use of time: Facebook stalking.

He had gone through all of Kurt's pictures (there were a fair few) and wrote appropriately Blaine like comments on most of them. Kurt was sure to kick his butt for clogging up his notifications, but it was worth it.

He had just commented on Kurt's recent Halloween photo (he was Hollywood. It was actually amazing) by saying:

_This is a fantastic costume, but I think my Halloween costume trumps yours. I was Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was totally awesome. _

After going through photos, Blaine turned to Kurt's Wall. He just kept scrolling. He usually only stop to read something that sounded kinda interesting, or when Kurt and Mercedes had a conversation going on his wall. Mercedes was really hilarious when she wasn't craving tater tots.

Then Blaine came across something weird.

_Kurt Hummel is now single. _

This was a while ago. Of course, the way Blaine was reading the Wall posts were backwards. Blaine scrolled, trying to find where Kurt entered this relationship.

You know, he was just a little curious. Nothing weird.

But he did wonder…Kurt had said that Karofsky, the guy that they had talked to, was his first kiss.

"Or at least one that counted," Blaine remembered Kurt saying.

Then he found out why.

He came to the post that read:

_Kurt Hummel is now in a relationship with Brittney Pierce. _

Oh.

_Oh_.

A girl. Well, that makes sense as to why Kurt had said "one that counted".

The relationship, at least if the dates on Facebook were any indication, didn't last very long at all. Maybe a week. Blaine wondered if this was around the time that Kurt came out of the closet…

Curiosity got the better of him and he clicked on the name "Brittney Pierce".

A picture of a pretty blonde girl in a Cheerio's uniform came up. In fact, she looked very familiar.

Then Blaine recognized her from the "Single Ladies" video.

Blaine glanced over her profile. She was in Glee with Kurt and a Cheerio. Besides that, Blaine found her very…well, not stupid, but not exactly street wise.

He found himself clicking on her pictures. There was an album that read "Perfect kissing record".

Well, that's something you didn't see everyday.

There were over 200 photos in the album.

Blaine clicked on it.

There were photos of both boys and a few girls. A few comments read "I finally got to kiss" and then listed the name. Some, Blaine noted, had more than just kissing listed.

It was a little bizarre, but whatever floats your boat, thought Blaine.

Then he did a double date. At first the picture just looked like a slight boy in what Blaine could only describe as a lumberjack get-up.

Then he looked closer.

It was…Kurt.

His hair was unstyled, he had a baseball cap on, red plaid and a puffer jacket on.

It was so out of the ordinary to see Kurt this way.

There were two photos of Kurt: One was of him standing next to Brittney, full body so Blaine could see his whole…outfit. The next was of one where Blaine imagined he was caught by surprise. He was turning his head to the camera. Brittney had probably called his name and he had turned as the picture was being taken.

The caption for this read:

_I always thought Kurt was gay, but then he sang a good song. He let me keep my almost perfect record of kissing all the guys in school. _

_Edit: Well, I guess Kurt really is gay. But he's a good kisser. _

Blaine's eyebrows shot up. So Kurt was out when dated her…or?

A ping announced to Blaine that he had a Facebook chat message. It was Kurt.

Kurt Hummel: Oh my god, what did you do?

Blaine Potter: What?

Kurt Hummel: I come home and have almost a hundred notifications. They're ALL from you.

Blaine Potter: Heh, what can I say? I was bored and went through your photos.

Kurt Hummel: You better believe that I'm returning the favor.

Blaine Potter: Fine with me.

Blaine Potter: Hey Kurt?

Kurt Hummel: Yes?

Blaine's hands hovered over the keyboard. He wasn't sure where to start. It seemed like such an impersonal thing to talk about via a chat.

Blaine Potter: One second, I'm calling you.

When Kurt picked up the phone, the first thing he said ways, "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" asked Blaine. "Nothing's wrong…"

"But why wouldn't you say what you needed to say over Facebook?" asked Kurt. "It must be important if you want to talk to me on the phone…"

"Well," said Blaine. "I guess it's important. And I just thought it would be more tactful to talk about it vocally."

"Ok…" said Kurt. He silently urged Blaine to continue.

"Well," said Blaine. "I admit, I was Facebook stalking you today." He heard Kurt sigh over the phone. "And I found something…well…I just wanted to know…" Blaine took a deep breath. He decided that a good way to approach this would be with humor.

"Plaid is just not your thing," blurted Blaine.

"Plaid?" asked Kurt.

"And those puffer jackets - it looks like something you stole out of Finn's closet."

"What do you mean - oh!"

Kurt had reached the realization.

"You are not telling me that there are photos of that fashion monstrosity I was wearing!" Shouted Kurt.

"There are," said Blaine.

"Where?"

Blaine was silent. This is where it would get awkward. "Brittney's profile."

Silence.

"Oh."

Blaine coughed. "I mean, there's like, no reason to be ashamed. I mean, I dated a girl once. I was like 14 and after that I just knew I was gay. We all have to have those moments when we realize who we really are…"

"No!" said Kurt. "I mean, I already was out when I dated Brittney. I mean…"

Blaine was confused. "Already out? But then why would you date her…?"

There was a loud sigh from Kurt's end. "Long story."

"I've got some time."

Kurt was silent for a moment, then he began: "It was because I was jealous of how Finn and my dad were getting along. They were both into sports and other more…guy stuff. I thought my dad… I thought my dad would have rather had Finn as a son; not me."

Blaine frowned. Kurt had only heard good things about Burt, Kurt's father, from Kurt himself. That he had accepted his son as gay very quickly.

"So I wore that stupid outfit to be more like my dad. And this song that was so not me. And Brittney…she liked that and I knew that it might be good if my dad caught me kissing a girl so I did and…well of course he saw right through it. It was all so stupid. My dad loves me no matter what, but of course he liked having Finn, who could talk about football and stuff without getting bored."

Blaine heard Kurt sniffle over the phone. Blaine could only imagine…he and his dad had never had this problem. Blaine wasn't exactly the "gay" stereotype. He liked sports and could talk to his dad about that for hours. Kurt, on the other hand, was very feminine in many ways. Even after only being raised by a dad.

"You did all that," said Blaine. "Just to please your dad?"

Kurt laughed. "Yeah, it was stupid. I wish I hadn't. Especially the Brittney thing." Kurt sighed and then chuckled a little. "It did prove to me that I was 100 percent gay, though."

Blaine let out a big laugh. "Not the best?"

"No. I mean, she's a good kisser. She should be; she's had tons of practice, but it was just weird. I didn't feel anything."

"And that's what you meant by Karofsky's kiss being your first one that actually mattered. A first kiss with a guy," said Blaine sadly.

"Yeah," Kurt echoed in a miserable tone.

Blaine sighed heavily. "Just wait, Kurt. You'll find a guy out there that is out and will appreciate you. Then you can have a real first kiss." Blaine tried to stop the feeling in his chest. He resisted adding that he wanted to be that guy. He forced himself to stay in this "friend" bubble that he and Kurt had established; the mentor role that he had taken on.

"Thanks," said Kurt.

Blaine tried to steer the conversation away from such heavy things.

"But Brittney did say that you were a good kisser," said Blaine with a laugh. "So that's a plus!"

"Shut up. God, this is worst than you finding the videos."


End file.
